East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
