Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital