just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
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if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
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The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.