You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.