When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick