i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We need to get me chipped asap
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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