She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
