I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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