That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
