she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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