1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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