It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
