so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
