I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize