My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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