summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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