Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
