Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
