About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Randomize
