Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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