someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
