i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize