We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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