Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Even the bartender felt bad for me
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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