walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
