I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
