I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
