Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she woke up with a sticky ear
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Still dying that you shit outside
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
