Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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