Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
