That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
