Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
