he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
no more duck duck goose at the bar
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize