Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
