My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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