So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
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I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
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She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
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