Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize