And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just had sex bonerless
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
