What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
