I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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