he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
