oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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