i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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