dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
