I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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