just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I canβt live with men.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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