Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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