please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
