help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
