I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We are all done wearing pants today
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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