i don't like sucking hair
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he fucked my hip out of place.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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