Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
