i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
