Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
