Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
