She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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