I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
