do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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