he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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