There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
