my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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