The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
you never un-have a 4some
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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