I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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