you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
