When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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